People for the Ethical Treatment of SF

Jeff VanderMeer uppmärksammar på sin blogg, Ecstatic Days, en bisarr författarsammanslutning som kallar sig Science Fiction and Fantasy Ethics, ledd av Andy Remic, och som har som syfte att "slå ett slag för positiva recensioner av böcker, filmer och tecknade serier". VanderMeer intervjuar sitt alter ego Evil Monkey, som uppger sig tillhöra People for the Ethical Treatment of SF. Den stora behållningen återfinns, som så ofta, i kommentarerna där författaren Felix Gilman drar en växel på temat att behandla böcker väl och skissar upp hur illa han själv behandlar böcker:

on my desk right here i have a signed first edition of m. john harrison’s The Centauri Device

i keep it in a 6-by-6 inch cage in which it cannot stand up or turn around, and i force-feed it ruthlessly in hopes of fattening its liver

what are you going to do about it, huh, Remic? nothing, that’s what

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if i want to take a bunch of Solaris DVDs and drown em in a sack that’s my business, don’t meddle in things you don’t understand, Remic

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since back in old country my people have gathered to watch two proud strong issues of Asimov’s fight in a pit. it is an honorable death for the magazine, for Asimov’s is strong and loves to fight. these are our folkways, Remic. who are you to interfere? how dare you

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you know what the most beautiful thing in the whole damn world is? i’ll tell you what it is Remic, i’ll tell you good. its when a man and his son drive up into the mountains with a couple good huntin guns and maybe some beers, maybe the boy has a beer too why not, his mother dont need to know. you dont even need to talk much just enjoy all that silence. just wait real quiet until you see one of them Star Wars prequels come shamblin on by. let the boy take the first shot. thirty aught six’ll drop that big hairy prequel right in its tracks, it aint cruel, it don’t feel no pain. the boy’s a man today. you can teach him how to cut off that prequel’s antlers and how to take its hide and how to get rid of them ugly hayden christianseny bits that ain’t no good to nobody. just like your daddy done for you with A New Hope, and his daddy done for him with War Of The Worlds. you’ll never understand what that means Remic and thats why i pity you